


I need an hour just to say hello

by oknarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff and Angst, Frat Boy Niall, M/M, Panic Attacks, Shy Harry, Side Lilo - Freeform, golf au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-23
Updated: 2015-06-23
Packaged: 2018-04-05 17:53:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4189356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oknarry/pseuds/oknarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“So you work at the golf course?” He asks and all Harry can do is nod his head in return.</p><p>Niall laughs and Harry’s stomach flutters when he opens his eyes. Niall’s head is slightly thrown back and he’s sitting next to Harry on this wooden bench in shitty lighting from a lantern above them and he looks like he’s glowing, just radiating happiness. Harry doesn't really get it - he’s only stuttered like four words out. </p><p>or where a shy, stuttering Harry works at the golf course, where he meets Niall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I need an hour just to say hello

**Author's Note:**

> ft. shy!Harry, fratboy!Niall, fratboy!Louis, fireman!Liam and student!Zayn and side Lilo.
> 
> title is from  
> Scars by James Bay
> 
> special thanks to Rhian (little-cather) for helping cheerlead me throughout this and also someone I'm glad I've gotten to become friends with because of this fic! :)
> 
> standard disclaimer: I don't own One Direction and this is purely fiction.
> 
> this fic has been a project that’s taken months and honestly should have been finished a lot quicker...Zayn was supposed to have a much bigger part in this fic but after all the events over the last couple months I changed that, but I still hope you enjoy! x

*****

We are all ordinary. We are all boring. We are all spectacular. We are all shy. We are all bold. We are all heroes. We are all helpless. It just depends on the day.

Brad Meltzer

*****

 

Harry is bent down, demonstrating how to swing a golf putter for the kids. Luckily, by working at his uncle’s golf course he doesn’t have to do much - he basically just retrieves the practice balls hit in the driving range with a fancy machine, or he helps at the front desk, but this is Harry’s favorite part: the kid’s camps. 

Harry’s actually never been very good at golf - his limbs are too out of balance, his right leg is slightly longer than his left which causes a mess of back pain, and his wild curly hair cannot be tamed by a golf hat whenever his uncle drags him out to play a round on the course.

But kids are easy to work with, and Harry knows the basics for a great swing. He just doesn't have one himself. 

Harry’s leading the kids down to the driving range on the concrete path, playing follow the leader. He sprints ahead a little, and the kids - running to follow him - only giggle louder as he purposely walks in slow motion. They reach the driving range and Harry sets them all up at their own mat. He takes them one by one to fetch a bucket of golf balls while Cal, his older co-worker, helps make sure the kids don’t cause too much trouble.

The boy he’s with, Aiden, flaunts that he is seven and that he knows how to pick the numbers given on the receipt to get fifty practice balls, and so Harry lets him enter it. He groans at the last minute when he notices that Aiden has already punched in the numbers without placing a bucket underneath the machine - golf balls are flying out rapidly, bouncing all over the concrete and Aiden is giggling whilst trying to catch them. Harry grabs a bucket, but he only manages to catch the few left that shoot out of the machine. Aiden passes him a couple but then a different hand, not tan like Aiden’s, is placing a couple of balls inside.

Harry looks up from the concrete to meet the eyes of a pale boy. A really, really pretty boy with the brightest blue eyes Harry’s ever seen. Harry watches the boy reaches around again and grab a couple more golf balls and place them in the bucket. He’s got freckles all around his neck and a white golf hat with black letters on it and a red jacket and Harry is finding it hard to swallow.

This is the thing about him. Harry can talk and charm old-ladies and little kids, but the second he has to talk to a people his age he’s a shy, stuttering mess. Even worse are insanely attractive boys his age.

Aiden stands up and takes the bucket, and Harry knows that he needs to go back and help the other kids fill their buckets but his tongue feels like sandpaper and he can’t help how he wants to keep staring at the boy. He knows that he probably looks like a creep.

“T-Thanks,” he manages, before the boy’s face lights up with a smile. Harry had thought that the boy just was really, really pretty before, but he’s absolutely positive now that the boy is breathtaking beautiful. His smile reaches his eyes and it’s the most perfect smile Harry’s ever seen.

“No problem mate,” the boy replies. He’s got an Irish accent and Harry wants to pass out right there. Harry manages a half nervous smile, and then he turns to go back to the mats to help the next kid. He trips on the short concrete step and catches himself before he face plants at the last second. He’s too embarrassed to look back.

*****

Harry’s fidgeting in class - his professor’s lecture feels too long, and he’s hungry and tired and wants to spend the rest of the day hidden under his duvet. He sighs in relief when it’s finally over, deciding to head to the local campus coffee shop before going back to his dorm.

He orders some chai tea, and he stutters when he speaks to the barista. As he waits for his name to be called - also stuttered - he plays with the end of his plaid flannel. His name’s called and he grabs his drink, managing a shy smile to the barista. He heads to the door, not daring to make any eye-contact with anyone at the tables he passes.

“So your name’s Harry?” He hears. It causes him to turn, and he sees the boy from the golf course the other day, sitting at a table. His eyes widen in horror and surprise, even more so when he sees the person he’s sitting next to is Louis Tomlinson, who’s giving him a look of recognition. The boy from the golf course has blonde hair with brown roots, something Harry couldn’t see yesterday with his hat on, and it just makes his eyes stand out even more. Harry’s tongue feels like sandpaper, again. He finds himself rushing out of the coffee shop, still breathless by the time he reaches his dorm.

*****

Harry had a roommate for three weeks, three years ago. His name was Louis Tomlinson and he was the complete opposite of all Harry is. Loud, talkative and confident, Louis was like a tornado. Harry’s also pretty sure that Louis thinks he’s a freak, and he can perfectly remember the talk he gave Harry about understanding that he was shy, but that in order for them to stay roommates, Harry had to communicate with him.

And Harry really did try - he tried to talk to Louis. Harry’s introverted; fine being alone, and only speaks when he feels he has to. It sort of worked for a week, but it wasn’t too much of a surprise when Louis requested to move. He told Harry that there were no hard feelings with a sad smile. Louis is now one of the presidents at a frat house on campus and the university stopped placing a roommate with Harry after he requested so.

*****

The session for the kids camp goes by in a flash later, and Harry’s now helping at the front desk. He hates that he can talk easily to the regulars, like now with Mr. Erickson who’s been a member since Harry started working for his uncle three years ago. Harry’s therapist tells him it's because it’s a place he feels extremely comfortable, and he can be himself.

Harry’s fixing the display of golf balls when the bell on the door sounds. Without looking up he calls out, “I’ll help you in a second!” Harry is finally pleased with the display and smiles at himself as he makes his way to the front desk. He frowns when he sees that there’s no one there.

He furrows his eyebrows in confusion, “Hello?” He calls out. The bell rings again, and Harry only sees a quick flash of a white jacket and a black hat as they run out the door.

*****

Harry only really has one friend - Zayn. They met during Harry’s first year, Harry’s pen ran out of ink as he scribbled down notes in class, and he felt so nervous after rummaging through his bag not able to find another one. A boy with black hair and glasses, cleared his throat and motioned with his hand that carried a pen, towards Harry. He nodded and did his best at a smile whispering a small, “Thank you,” to which the boy replied, "I’m Zayn.”

They’re eating dinner at the cafeteria now and Harry is trying to ignore the loud murmurs of people who pass by their table, with only the two of them sitting at it. Sometimes Harry doesn’t really understand how Zayn is his friend, he doesn’t enjoy doing any social activities and he doesn’t talk much, more really like at all, but then again Zayn doesn’t either. He’s more of the guy who prefers peace and quiet, and that’s one thing Harry knows he can give him.

Zayn clears his throat and Harry begins to feel nervous, knowing he’s going to ask something. “So there’s this party this weekend.”

“Where?” He asks skeptical. He knows that Zayn has his eye on this girl Perrie in his English class that focuses on some ancient author or something. He oogled at her in the cafeteria once and Harry caught him, and Zayn poured out to him about her like a girl in sixth form pining hard, and Harry figures since Zayn doesn’t go out that much either, it must mean Perrie’s going.

“It’s at Louis’ frat house,” Zayn says cautiously, and Harry groans.

“You know about the whole thing with Louis, Zayn. He thinks I’m a freak who can’t talk.”

Zayn snorts. “Harry, you’re talking to me right now. I think it’ll be good for you to just be introduced to new people anyway.”

Harry sighs in frustration and he stabs at the pasta on his plate, “Fine. But you know I’m not going to talk to anyone anyway.”

Harry forgets all about the boy from the golf course with the dyed blonde hair though.

*****

The music is thumping so loud that Zayn and Harry can hear it from down the street as they walk towards the frat house. By the time they make it to the front lawn it’s covered in people and red cups. The house itself is pretty shabby, its red paint looks worn down, and the lawn isn’t much grass in the first place. Harry takes a gulp and Zayn shoots him a hopeful smile as they head inside on the brick pavement to the front door.

They make it through a load of people to a little more space, and Zayn is clearly looking around for the dyed lilac hair that belongs to Perrie. They both grab a beer; Harry’s hoping that it will help him breath a little because the huge amount of people here is making him struggle. A girl with bright blonde, almost platinum hair sneaks past Harry to grab a drink in a cooler on the floor next to him, but she stops when she looks at him. “I haven’t you seen you around here before,” she says flirtatiously, and Harry just gulps.

“It’s-it’s not really my scene,” he says quietly and she obviously can’t hear him over the music. Instead she just drags Harry into the mob of dancing uni students. If you should really even call it dancing, Harry thinks. She pushes them through, stopping only to get step even closer to him - if that’s even possible - and wraps her hands around his neck. Harry feels insanely uncomfortable just holding his beer as she starts dancing against him, trying to be sensual. 

She’s given him a confused look, before leaning into his ear and whispering, “Just relax.” Harry only shakes his head rapidly, knocking into the couple dancing behind them and he tries to push through the crowd. He’s starting to feel like everything is closing in around him, and he tries to keep breathing when he spots a sliding glass door leading outside. 

He keeps pushing past people, hearing a couple rude comments, and he makes it to the door. He slides it open and closes it quickly behind him, thankful for the fresh air instead of the smell of weed and alcohol inside.

He sits down on a bench, leaning over and focusing on the ground while counting his breaths - it’s something his therapist taught him to help calm down. He talks a long sip of his beer, though it’s a little warm. Harry has never really liked the taste of it, but once in awhile he’ll have one - times like this.

When he’s finally calmed down a little he stands up and starts exploring the backyard. There are a few people out here although it’s pretty cold, and there’s a couple fiercely making out on one of the pool chairs surrounding the firepit. Harry slips his phone out of his pocket, seeing it’s only eleven o’clock. He’s got work in the morning; the kids camp is still going on and on the weekends Harry ends up working it all day. He doesn't mind too much though, they don't have them that often and being his favorite part of the job, he tries to cherish them whenever they come around.

He finds himself sitting back down on the bench, taking sips from his beer every once and awhile. The sliding glass door opens and closes loudly and quickly to his right. The outdoor light lets Harry see who it is - it’s the boy from the golf course, the boy he saw at the coffee shop two days ago. He’s in a white t-shirt and some tight blue jeans and there’s a snapback placed backwards on his head. Harry’s breath catches and he groans to himself, knowing he should have remembered that the boy was with Louis, and this is Louis’ frat house.

He can see the boy taking deep breaths, his little puffs of air contrasting the chilly London night, using his empty hand to fix his hat, his other holding a red cup. He turns towards Harry and his eyes go a little wide, as though he’s only just noticed Harry’s sitting there.

“Please don’t run.” The boy says quickly. Harry just stares at him and watches his face. Harry’s starting to feel nervous - he doesn’t understand this boy’s intentions.

The boy slips onto the bench next to him, leaving a good amount of room between the two of them.

“I’m Niall,” he offers. Harry smiles to himself. Niall. It fits him. “Louis uh- he told me about you. Well, kinda that day, after you sprinted out,” he explains.

Harry feels his palms start to heat up and his heart is beating faster, “He-he thinks I’m a freak,” he manages after a couple minutes of silence. He doesn’t bother to open his eyes and look at Niall. 

“He doesn’t. He just told me you’re really shy,” Niall says but Harry still doesn’t bother to open his eyes.

“So you work at the golf course?” He asks and all Harry can do is nod his head in return.

Niall laughs and Harry’s stomach flutters when he opens his eyes. Niall’s head is slightly thrown back and he’s sitting next to Harry on this wooden bench in shitty lighting from a lantern above them and he looks like he’s glowing, just radiating happiness. Harry doesn’t really get it - he’s only stuttered like four words out. “You’re really good with those kids. Was a good laugh watching that kid forget to put the bucket underneath.”

Harry groans, but he’s smiling. “Wouldn’t be the first time unfortunately.” Niall’s eyes widen. Harry just spoke without a stutter, and like it wasn’t a struggle. 

“Think I did that plenty of times with my da when I was younger. Part of the learning process I suppose,” Niall says, and he shrugs so casually it makes Harry smile.

“At least you didn’t hit him with a club in the leg about ten times,” Harry jokes.

“Can’t blame em when your legs are that long,” Niall shoots back. His accent is thick and his eyes are focused on the rips at the knees of Harry’s jeans, his gaze starts to creep up Harry’s thighs, but it goes back to his knees.

Harry catches Niall's eyes and swallows. He takes a last sip of his beer before muttering quickly, “I need to go.” He pushes himself off the bench and dashes towards the sliding glass door. Niall jumps up with him, clearly confused as to what the rush is.

“Wait Harry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” he tries, but Harry turns anyway and slides open the door. He closes it behind him, trying to make it through the crowd of people quickly, but he gets stuck in the middle by a couple too busy making out. He rolls his eyes and finds a different route, making it to the door and walking out. He decides that he’ll text Zayn and he quickly leaves for his dorm.

 

*****

Harry is giving the kids some cups of water as they take a break before doing some putting games. He rubs his eyes, feeling a little run down after not sleeping too well last night. He was caught up in the blue eyes belonging to Niall. Harry shakes his head to himself, knowing he was actually up all night analyzing their entire interaction of the night on repeat. He hands a little girl a cup of water and gives her a smile, she giggles out a thank you and it eases the tension in his body a little.

After they finish a game on the putting green, Harry waits with a few of the kids whose parents still have to pick them up. Aiden is one of them, and he’s chatting along crazily to Harry, bragging about his older brother who’s picking him up. Harry just nods his head and listens, because kids love that. They love knowing someone is actually listening to what they are saying. 

“Hey there little man,” Harry hears and Aiden’s eyes are wide and there’s a huge smile on his face as he takes in the approaching boy that looks to be a little older than Harry. He’s got a tight blue t-shirt on that with the local fire station’s logo on it.

“Leeyum!” Aiden screams happily, and he runs into the boys arms. 

The boy laughs as he swings Aiden around and Harry grabs his mini golf bag. “Wouldn’t want you to forget this,” he says as he hands it over.

The older boy smiles, taking it, “Thanks. I’m Liam Payne, by the way.”

“He’s a firefighter!” Aiden screams proudly, reaching up to hold Liam’s biceps to show them off to Harry. They both laugh.

“Do you go to the local uni?” Liam asks politely. 

Harry nods before introducing himself. Aiden runs to Harry and gives him a quick hug, “I’ll see you tomorrow Harry! Liam, ice cream now - you promised!” Liam rolls his eyes but he smiles, and they both head off.

Harry heads to his locker inside the pro-shop to get his stuff and then clocks out, heading to the bus stop.

He plugs his headphones into of his phone, enjoying the melody of an Eagles song as the bus goes through the city.

***

Harry is making his way through the library to the table he and Zayn always sit at, when he trips over someone’s laptop charger into someone’s firm back.

“Sorry,” Harry says quickly, trying to regain his balance, keeping his head down.

“It’s alright mate. Oh hey Harry,” Harry lifts his head to see Liam - who gives Harry a small smile, but Harry’s more focused on the fact that Louis is standing there with him, a couple books in his hand.

“Aiden can’t wait for the next kid’s camp. All he talks about these days is golf,” Liam laughs, and Harry can’t help but give a small smile at that.

“He’s a good kid.”

Louis eyes are wide - probably over the fact that Harry is having a conversation so easily right now, no stutter included. But for some reason Harry feels nice around Liam. “So Harry, I heard you ran into a certain Irish friend of mine at our party?” Louis asks smugly, and Harry’s heart stops for a second.

He coughs and adjusts his leather bag on his shoulder. “Just for awhile,” he mumbles to himself.

“What was that?” Louis teases and Liam hits him with his arm, offering Harry a sympathetic look. Harry just wants to leave, like right now, but Louis keeps chattering away at him and he’s not even listening, too preoccupied thinking about just getting to Zayn and his usual table and studying.

“I think you should come grab a pint with us and Niall sometime,” Louis offers.

Harry licks his dry lips. “I-I don't know if that’s a very good idea. That’s not really me,” he manages to mumble out.

Louis still gives him a wide, blinding smile, and Harry is still feeling as uncomfortable as he was when he ran into Liam. “That’s alright mate. Maybe we’ll just catch you at the golf course one day.” Louis gives him a light wave and turns, and Liam flashes one at Harry as well before he follows Louis.

*****

Harry only got a therapist because the university suggested it (although his mum was also quite happy that he agreed to). He didn’t actually talk to Mr. Nealson for the first four times he went, but now, finally, Harry can talk to him without stuttering. He’s sitting in the white leather chair, fidgeting as Mr. Nealson asks if anything new has been happening with him or if anything exciting had happened at work that week. Harry shakes his head, feeling his hair shake along with him, but the blood rushing to his cheeks would say otherwise.

Mr. Nealson only needs to raise his eyebrows in question before Harry starts blurting everything out. “I met-I met a really pretty boy and I keep seeing him places - well, only three places in one week. But I’m an idiot because I’ve basically run away from him twice. So, nothing is happening with that.”

Mr. Nealson moves his notepad closer and uncaps his pen. It makes Harry feel a little nervous. Mr. Nealson doesn’t really ever write notes down during Harry’s sessions but he always has his notepad. “Do you want to talk to him more?”

Harry shrugs, “I don’t know. I don’t even know him, or anything.” 

Mr. Nealson just hums at him while adjusting his glasses, and Harry starts to wonder if this is supposed to be some brain reversal thing where Harry starts questioning himself, and that he’ll realize he does want to talk to the blonde more.

*****

Linda, who usually works in the club restaurant during Harry’s shift, is sick today, and so Harry’s uncle makes him go and bus tables and take orders. He’s filling up a pint for a guy whilst waiting for someone else’s club sandwich to be finished in the kitchen.

He internally groans and flees to the kitchen when he sees Louis step inside. Harry anxiously waits for the club sandwich to be done, debating if he should really go back out there or not.

The chef, Raoul, rings the bell and places the sandwich on the metal counter giving Harry a harsh look to get back out into the restaurant when he doesn’t move right away. Harry grabs the plate, turning his back to open the kitchen doors into the restaurant, and he sets it down in front of the woman who ordered it. She gives Harry a wide grin, whilst the other woman sitting next to her with a drink eyes the bun Harry’s tied his hair into suspiciously.

“Harry! I was hoping I would see you here!” Louis cheers as Harry steps behind the bar counter. He grabs an empty glass and a signed cheque, putting the cash inside the register.

“Harry, please listen to me. I know you’re wonderful at that. You see, Niall is here right now,” Louis explains and Harry’s heart stops, but he doesn’t dare look up from the cash drawer. “Well not right here, he’s at the driving range. And I personally think he could use some lessons or something as he’s gotten off his game - he’s not been playing too much these last couple years.” Louis has his face in his hands, his elbows on the countertop, waiting for Harry to answer.

“You-you should ask the pro-shop about that. I’m sure they-they can set him up with them,” he gets out, but Louis just rolls his eyes.

“I meant you should give Niall lessons,” Louis says dramatically and Harry is starting to get annoyed.

He bites his bottom lip and sees a glint of a familiar white baseball cap from out the window. “No I can’t, I’m terrible,” Harry rushes out, before speed walking into the kitchen. He takes a deep breath to calm down once he’s inside, ignoring Raoul’s stare, and he wipes his slightly sweaty palms against his apron.

*****

“Harry!” He hears his name called, causing him to look up from the table he’s sitting at under the trees. He marks his page in his History book, scanning the grass area before seeing Niall with a green backpack on, rushing towards him.

Niall makes it to the table, sitting right across from him. His cheeks are flushed from the cold, or his run over here, Harry’s not sure. He quickly starts packing up his stuff.

“Okay just hear me out for a minute, okay?” Niall asks him urgently, placing his hand on Harry’s to stop him, but all Harry can focus on is how Niall wets his lips with his tongue after he finishes talking. Niall seems to take Harry’s silence and the fact that he doesn’t move his hand as a yes, and so he continues. “I get that you’re really shy. And I want to let you know that I don’t think you’re a freak at all. I just - listen, I moved from Ireland to England when I was twelve and I was a shy mess at school, at first. Kids thought I talked weird, so I just pretty much stopped talking. I met Liam later in secondary, and he was like my first real friend in England.”

Harry shrugs and whispers cautiously, “Wh-What does this have to do with me?”

Niall gives him a huge wide smile and Harry just bites his lip in return. “I don’t know, I kinda want to be your friend. I get what it’s like to be shy. And you just seem really interesting, and I want to get to know you,” Niall admits softly.

Harry messes with the corner of his textbook, uneasy about this whole idea. But at the same time, he knows he really only has Zayn; he can’t really count anyone at the golf course.

“I - why?”

“We can start with the simple stuff if you want. Like - I’m Niall Horan, twenty-one, originally from Mullingar, Ireland. I’m majoring in sound engineering.” The way Niall introduces himself is so formal.

“I-I’m Harry... Harry Styles. Originally from Holmes Chapel, Cheshire. And I’m studying business,” Harry says quietly, avoiding eye contact with Niall.

“Can we do a simple twenty questions?” Niall asks.

Harry still has his head down, but he gives Niall a slight jerk of his head.

“Okay Harry, favorite color?” 

“O-Orange. What about you?” Harry whispers.

“Green.” He states proudly, before shooting another question to Harry.

*****

Niall is a mess, giggling at Harry who just frowns at him as he holds the golf club. “I’m not that bad,” he whines, but Niall is too busy wiping tears from his eyes.

“Harry you completely missed the ball! You’re absolute rubbish!” Niall exclaims as Harry steps off the mat. He shoots Niall a glare and pushes the golf club into his hand.

Niall stops laughing when he sees Harry’s face. “Harry, come on. You know I was just teasing, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to - just here.” He grabs Harry’s hand and drags him back onto the mat so he’s facing Niall. “Make sure you don’t twist your wrists, and keep a firm grip on the club. And keep your head down.”

Harry just rolls his eyes. He tries to listen to what Niall says and he actually hits the ball this time. It goes pretty far but very to the right.

Niall shoots him a proud smile that still makes Harry’s stomach flutter, “See, you’re getting better already.” 

Harry has a feeling that, with them being close friends for around three months now, Niall has to somehow know how Harry feels about him. It’s impossible for him really not to know - Harry has grown comfortable around Niall but he’s still a shy stuttering mess whenever Niall just brushes against him. Niall is also very, very good at golf and it only makes Harry even more nervous whenever Niall drags him down to practice with him at the range, or when he attempts to help Harry (which once called for Niall wrapping his entire body around Harry - who almost passed out - as Niall showed him how to properly pace his swing and made it seem like no big deal when he let go).

This isn’t some little silly crush either; Harry’s realized that during his occasional therapy sessions with Mr. Nealson. He seems to be happy that Harry has made more than one friend too, but lately, the way his senses come alive when Niall is in a fifteen feet radius of him is starting to take its toll.

“Before you know it, we’ll get you good enough to win the employee tournament!” Niall offers with enthusiasm, and Harry gives Niall a fake smile, internally groaning at the thought of embarrassing himself in front of his co-workers.

They both make it up the concrete path from the range to the pro-shop where Cal asks Harry to take the snack cart out for awhile even though he knows that Harry absolutes loathes taking the cart.

Niall shoots him a sympathetic smile before muttering something about some frat activity he has with his house tonight and heading off.

*****

Harry is walking to his usual bus stop with his headphones on, enjoying the melodies of the new Kodaline album when a loud honk startles him, causing him to trip on a crack in the pavement. 

Harry hears a familiar laugh coming from the car that is now pulled up to the curb, its driver window down and he groans in embarrassment that he is always somehow tripping over things in front of Niall.

“Wanna ride?” Niall hollers at him with a wide smile, one of his arms hanging out of the window. Harry swallows and nods his head, making his way into the passenger seat, some of the wrappers and other rubbish on the car floor wrinkling under his feet.

“Sorry bout the mess mate!” Niall apologizes as he pulls away from the curb and Harry just gives him a nod and a closed mouth smile, hoping that lets it off that the messy car is alright with him.

After Harry gives him simple -and stuttered- directions, they pull into his dorms parking lot and Niall shoots Harry a smile that's only making him more nervous as he opens the door and starts to step out of the car. “Do-do you want to come in? I was planning on watching some movies,” Harry rushes out and almost immediately regrets what he just asked.

Because in retrospect, over the past three months they have gotten closer, but that’s in Harry’s perspective. The both of them have only hung out at the golf course or the cafeteria for a bite to eat, once in awhile the coffee shop or the library to study. Harry’s mind is spinning because no one has seen his dorm except Zayn and well him, and he knows this was an awful idea.

But Niall gives him another big smile, “Yeah! Love to!” And Harry is starting to feel like he’s going to faint.

They make it up the two flights of stairs and into his dorm and Niall just chuckles softly once Harry opens the door. “Course your room is spotless! You should see mine it's absolutely trashed all the time!” He jokes and Harry’s face just turns into a tomato. Niall makes himself at home on his bed as Harry places all his stuff from work to their proper place.

“So what movie are we watching?” Niall asks him softly and Harry moves to bookshelf that stores his books and DVD’s, pulling out his favorite before making it to the TV.

“Oh, I see - it’s a surprise,” Niall jokes, wiggling his eyebrows softly and Harry is starting to feel a little more comfortable with Niall in his space as puts the DVD in and tells Niall it's his favorite. But then as Harry is taking off his boots, he realizes he still hasn’t changed out of his work uniform, his fancy black polo and khaki trousers, and that isn’t the most comfy thing to wear while watching a movie.

He grabs a t-shirt from a drawer and some pajama bottoms and Niall turns to look at him from the noise of the closing drawer, rather than watching the opening credits.

“Can-can you,” Harry’s mouth has gone dry now and he’s looking up at the ceiling, his cheeks flushed and trying to control his breathing. “Can you not look?” When Harry dares to take a glance at Niall his face seems rather confused but then his eyes go wide in realization.

“Yeah sure,” he says casually, and Harry’s heart melts a little about how Niall isn’t making a big deal about him being a shy mess. He strips out of his work uniform quickly and thankfully Niall is preoccupied by the opening scenes Harry’s seen plenty of.

He throws his dirty clothes in the hamper and lays onto his bed, still a good distance away from Niall. 

“Captain America huh?” Niall quirks an eyebrow at him with a lazy half smile and Harry just nods sheepishly. Niall, Harry figures, has worked his way around the golf course rules about proper golf attire because he is in an athletic shirt (not a proper polo like the course requires but not technically for the driving range), a dark blue, that brings out his eyes and Harry has to force his eyes away from him and back to the TV screen.

The movie continues on and Harry gets grossed into the world of Steve Rogers and his courage in becoming Captain America, despite him seeing the movie hundreds of times prior.

The ending credits are rolling and Niall suddenly rolls over on his side, somewhat closer to Harry. “So why is Captain America your favorite?” He asks quietly and Harry stares at the ceiling, his back on the duvet as he thinks of how to tell him.

“He-he,” Harry starts and Niall reaches over placing his hand on Harry’s knee.

“It’s okay. Take as long as you want,” Niall says softly, almost as if he’s read Harry’s mind somehow and knows Captain America is somehow more than a superhero to him.

Harry takes a deep breath and closes his eyes and everything begins tumbling out. “He’s brave. He was just this scrawny guy but then he goes to this awful war and he helps save people. He’s selfless and humble and bold and he does it all to help other people. He sacrifices himself, even though he has a girl he loves, to help save other people. And he’s confident in himself and goes out there and is a leader and-." Harry’s out of breath by now, his head is spinning and he’s trying to count his breaths like he’s supposed to but Niall is rubbing his hand on his knee and just that small touch is literally making him breathless.

“Harry it’s alright. Being shy isn’t a bad thing, okay? It’s a part of how you are and-”

Harry cuts him off, “I’m not just shy Niall. I have panic attacks and see a therapist and I can’t room with anyone and people who ask me for directions think I’m freak because I can’t give them without stuttering and I only have two friends and I almost fainted after just asking you to watch a movie with me in my room,” he huffs out frustrated, tears burning as they form in his eyes.

Niall sits up and tugs on his hair staring wide eyed at Harry before latching onto him in a big hug before letting go. “Listen I’m no therapist but I know it must be really hard being shy and all but, Harry - you can’t hate yourself for being like this. You just are. And you just have to accept yourself and keeping moving on with it, and try your hardest to not panic, okay? Just keep taking baby steps. You already have been, yeah?” Niall offers Harry a small smile, as Harry gives a little nod in return, hoping to calm down and not cry. “You asked me to watch a movie, which was already brave. And it hasn’t been a complete disaster has it?” Niall asks and Harry just shakes his head and wipes his eyes.

“I guess not,” he mumbles out and Niall just throws his head back in laughter and then pats Harry’s knee, “Well then, what movie’s next?”

*****

Harry doesn’t really understand how, but somehow Niall manages his way into becoming his caddy for the employee tournament. Out of both times Harry’s participated, it's safe to say he was in dead last. So when he shows up in the locker room and hears Niall’s loud laugh echoing off the lockers as he opens the door, he’s obviously confused.

“Niall? Wh-What are you d-doing here?” Harry asks him when he turns from the entrance, dazed at Niall’s full on caddy uniform. He’s almost glowing in his full white onsie type of thing and Harry has to tear his eyes away, his palms suddenly feeling clammy.

“I’m your caddy? I told you I would do it, just had to ask Cal the date of the whole thing and he did, so here I am! Ready to slaughter the competition?” Niall chats excitedly and Harry’s throat has gone tight. He purposely tried to keep today’s event out of Niall’s memory because he knew this would happen. It's one thing to be insanely embarrassed in front of your coworkers, but this is suddenly much worse.

Harry’s eyebrows go up in retaliation, “Niall, you-you’ve seen me play. I’m horrendous. There’s no way I’m going to win!”

Niall only rolls his eyes at Harry’s outburst, “Have a little confidence Harry,” he chuckles, nudging Harry’s arm as he fumbles with his lock. Harry tries his best at giving Niall a glare back, but the second he tries it he knows he’s failed. Harry’s already daydreamed of what it would be like having Niall as his date to the end of the year employee banquet, even more of how hot Niall would be in a suit, but now that he’s going to see him suck at golf all day it’s just making Harry even more nervous.

They make it to the first tee and Harry is thankfully paired with Cal. He grabs his driver from Niall who just has a big grin and gives him a soft pat on the back, not forgetting to hand Harry a tee. His gloveless hand is sweaty and making it hard to grip the club, but he does his best effort of keeping his gaze down on the ball as he swings the club, only to see the ball go far to the right and hit a tree.

He can already hear Niall’s soft giggle behind him and Harry’s already embarrassed by the first shot, dreading the rest of the day because he’s only going to get worse as the day goes on. And it does; Harry hits about ten more trees, misses the ball at least a dozen times, trips on the edge of the cart path and almost falls on his face and loses too many golf balls to count. Niall’s laugh is relentless behind him and Harry can’t get even get a tiny bit mad when Niall keeps asking why and how he works at a golf course, because he knows it’s true.

The most embarrassing part of the day though happens to be when Niall’s had enough of Harry’s shit golf skills to grab Harry’s hips from behind, starting to try to coach him, but Harry’s a wreck at the near proximity of Niall that’s now all too close to him. Niall’s hands easily fit around Harry’s hips and his touch feels warm against the texture of Harry’s golf trousers. He feels a huge rush of blood come up his neck, covered by his polo when Niall tells him he needs to spread his legs more, (and he does his best to hide the choking noise he makes) but mainly this feels a lot more intimate than the times Niall has done this when they're messing about on the driving range. 

Harry pokes a peek out under his hat to see Cal staring at them both, which just causes Harry to blush harder, trying his best to listen to Niall’s instructions when he lets go and tells him to swing. His shot is a little better than normal, and that must be enough for Niall, who just grabs Harry’s bag and grabs the club out of Harry’s hand, confidently walking off towards Harry’s ball.

*****

 

Somehow Niall also convinces Harry to come visit his frat house. Harry is assuming that there’s going to be a party and he’s already sweating as he pushes his hair up out of his face, wondering if he should place it in a bun. He decided to not go in one of his usual patterned shirts, not wanting to attract attention and settling on wearing a grey t-shirt and his usual black jeans and boots.

Niall is supposed to be meeting him at his dorm to take him to the frat house and Harry is already feeling nauseous about this whole idea. Harry agreed with Niall about making baby steps about meeting other people and although this is slightly out of his comfort zone (although almost anything social basically is) Harry admits to himself that he is awful at telling Niall no.

The knock on Harry’s door causes him to break out of his thoughts and he opens the door to see Niall in a green baseball tee and tight blue jeans. He swallows, hoping he wasn’t too obvious at checking Niall out, but he doesn’t seem to notice.

“You look nice. Ready to go?” Niall asks Harry, who just nods with slightly flushed cheeks.

They make their way to Niall’s frat house and Harry can hear the music thumping a street away and gives a nervous chuckle. “How many pe-people are going to be here?”

Niall is walking next to him and Harry is slightly taller but for some reason he likes that. “Well our frat was already hosting a party and I told them about you and that you’re coming tonight,” Niall shrugs.

“Oh,” Harry says. “W-Wait you told them about me?” Harry asks confused.

Niall looks up slightly to meet Harry’s eyes as he pulls up the sleeves of his shirt, “Yeah just that I had a friend who was really shy and was working on becoming more social.” Harry manages a nod but still feels the pang in his chest at the mention of friend.

They make it into the frat house that is already filled with people and Harry meets eyes with Niall who’s looking at him and he reaches over and squeezes Harry’s hand, almost a silent agreement to say I’m right here, it’s going to be okay.

Harry nods his head, and Niall holds Harry’s wrist as he leads them into the kitchen and immediately Harry spots Louis and a couple other familiar looking guys, including Liam.

“Niall!” Louis shouts over the music, a wide grin and a beer in hand. Niall gives him a wide smile back and leaves Harry’s side to do a little bro hug with each of them, and Harry is assuming they are all a part of the frat together.

“Want a beer?” Louis asks him as all their eyes move onto him after Niall finishes his rounds of hello's. Harry nods his head.

“Everyone, this is Harry,” Niall motions to him, a beer already in his hand now too. They all echo hello and nice to meet you’s and Harry is breathing fine, but still doesn’t like all of them staring at him.

“I’m Sean. Nice to meet you,” one of them steps out to shake his hand. Harry feels bad that his is slightly clammy, but still shakes Sean’s. 

Louis hands him a beer next and the rest, including Niall, disperse into the crowd of the party. “So what are you majoring in?” Sean asks him politely after motioning him to sit down on the barstools in the kitchen, causing Harry to tear his eyes away from the mob.

“B-Business,” Harry replies.

Sean nods his head, “Cool. I’m in engineering. Niall mentioned you work at the golf course for your uncle?” Harry nods his head. “Are you interested in taking that over?”

Harry shrugs awkwardly, “I-I might. I don’t really know yet. It’s not the kind business I would want anyway,” he mumbles out.

Sean nods, “Then what kind do you want?” He asks him simply as Harry takes a swig of his beer.

Harry swallows and feels his cheeks rush with blood, “Um..I uh..I would want to own a bakery.”

Sean gives him a wide smile, “Oh that’s sick. You like baking? I can’t make anything except Ramen and macaroni and cheese,” he jokes out and Harry is thankful he didn’t laugh.

“Yeah I like to. My -uh- mum and I used to bake together a lot. I’m alright, like I would make some stuff and be more like the proper owner then the one who actually bakes everything,” Harry goes on.

Sean nods his head, “That sounds like a good plan mate.” Harry’s throat has now gone dry and he doesn’t know what to say so he watches the people at the party. There’s couples hooking up or dancing to the music or small groups talking to one another. Harry looks closely and thinks he sees Liam is acting DJ, and sees Louis on stage with him and, oh - he gives Liam a quick peck on the lips before jumping into the mob with a cheer. There’s a flash of blonde hair in the crowd that makes Harry’s heart tug a little, how he always finds himself looking for Niall.

Niall slowly makes his way over to Harry and Sean, leaning against the counter of the kitchen already looking tipsy, somehow now with a snapback on his head. Harry meets his eyes and he can almost feel how Niall’s silently asking if everything’s alright, so he sends him an easy nod. 

Another person comes up to a Niall, a guy with a bright orange t-shirt and they talk and laugh, Harry can’t hear what about over the noise but he’s more entranced by how Niall throws his head back in pure joy, his smile not only reaching his eyes but his whole face. Niall’s laugh is entertaining, he sometimes has this little hiccup that makes its way into it and it’s odd, Harry thinks. Someone else’s laugh shouldn’t make you feel as good as Niall’s does to him.

“I-I think I’m going to get some fresh air,” Harry says after a while, snapping out of his gaze and Sean just gives him a nod of his head, a catchable smug look on his face because he knows. Sean knows Harry was just staring at Niall like he’s more than this guy who's making him less shy.

“It was really nice talking to you for a bit Harry,” Sean says, and Harry’s thankful he didn’t say anything. He nods his head and gives him a tight smile, before turning and finding the glass sliding door and sitting on the familiar bench. Harry finishes off his beer there before he finally gives into the goosebumps on his arms and his chattering teeth to go back inside.

As he makes his way back inside he collides with a body and its some guy around his age, with big arms and spiky black hair. “So-Sorry,” he offers attempting to be polite.

“Cat got your tongue dude?” The guy says with a chuckle. He looks like a proper frat boy twat, Harry thinks quickly.

Harry’s heart starts beating as fast as the beat of the song Liam must be playing. He hears static and his breathing and his tongue feels dry. “Wh-Wh-What?”

Harry knows it’s bad the second he says that, his stutter is worse than normal and the guy’s mouth twists into a smirk. “Can you talk like a normal person?” The guy slurs, crossing his arms and putting his tattoos on display. He reminds Harry of the kids in primary who would constantly tease him about his stutter and he feels like his feet are glued to the ground and he can’t say anything.

The guy keeps glancing at him up and down, muttering, “Freak,” before turning away, disappearing into the crowd. Harry turns and rushes away, the amount of people in the house feels like it’s doubling by the second. He hears the taunts repeatedly in his head and he knows they shouldn’t mean anything but they do. Harry doesn’t even know what he’s doing here. He doesn’t belong in a frat house at a frat party, and he definitely isn’t the type of person to be friends with Niall nevertheless someone who Niall would even like.

Before he notices, his feet are scrambling to find the bathroom and Harry’s feeling like there’s this dead weight pressing on his lungs, making it harder to breath. 

Harry starts pushing through people dancing, not bothering to be polite now and he hears Niall yell out over the crowd, “Harry!” He turns to head to see him on the makeshift DJ stage with Liam, a bright expression on his face. It feels like time is stopping as their eyes are connected and God, Harry thinks, it’s like some sappy film, everyone else vanishing and time moving to slow motion as he and Niall’s eyes stay on only each other as he motions Harry to come closer to the stage.

Harry breaks the eye contact and doesn't bother to reply, instead rushing towards the stairs once again because time has started again and he’s feeling nauseous and tries to open two locked doors and then tries again and thankfully it’s an empty bathroom. He can hear the Irish voice he adores calling his name, but he rushes inside and he can’t breath and just feels so awful and sick and the taunts are rushing through his head and he can’t open his mouth, until he is, only to empty his stomach contents into the toilet. 

Harry is slumped against the wall now, eyes fluttering open as he groans to see Niall bent down next to him. “Shit,” he hears Niall curse underneath his breath as he looks at Harry. 

Harry feels chills all over and his head is clouded and Niall looks dim in the bathroom lights, the turn of the overhead fan buzzing along with the throbbing in his head.

Niall helps pick Harry up and basically drags him to a room, laying him down on a bed, tucking him under a warm duvet. “I’m so sorry Haz, I should’ve been there - I shouldn't - God I shouldn't have made you come here,” Harry hears Niall say to him, sitting on the edge of the bed. Harry can almost imagine the look on Niall's face and the probability of Niall tugging on his hair in frustration but he hears more rustling around, and something like Niall throwing something before the door slams closed and he's gone.

Harry sighs, thinking that was his first true panic attack in long time, before relaxing and fading into the darkness.

*****

When Harry wakes up, his mouth is dry and he feels groggy, his jeans are tight against his skin and he can feel the button of them pushing a mark onto his stomach. There’s a blue faded duvet around him and there’s an Irish flag pinned to the wall across from him. Harry sits up at the sight of that, immediately knowing where he is now. 

Niall’s room is messy; something Harry should’ve expected from being inside of his car. There’s an old guitar with strings that look like they’re about to break, leaning against a wooden desk piled with papers, a jacket over the chair. The hamper is overflowing with clothes, but the floor is decently clean, a few empty bags and water bottles cluttering the carpet.

Harry gets out of the bed, managing to remember where the bathroom was, although last night isn’t something he truly wants to remember because of the scale of embarrassment he experienced.

He has no idea where Niall is, but honestly in this condition and after what happened he doesn’t want to. Harry leans his hands against the sink and stares at his reflection. He looks paler than normal, his skin is oily and his hair’s quite messy but it’s not as bad as he was expecting, especially with having a panic attack just last night.

After spraying his face with some water, Harry leaves the bathroom, going down the wooden stairs to see a littered living room and a couple of guys passed out on the couches. He makes his way out of the door, feeling a little tug in his chest that he should at least thank Niall for trying, but really he can’t do this. He can’t talk to people and he can’t even be friends with Niall because he doesn’t even fit into his world and Harry just doesn't want to be just friends anyway. 

*****

Harry wanted to go to a big university for a reason. There’s less of a chance of getting picked on in lecture, less chance of people knowing his shy nature. He remembers how truly awful sixth form was, it seemed he had the most presentations he ever had to give in front of a class, and each one was a disaster after a disaster. Here he has a less chance of being called on in big classes, less of an obligation to be social.

Harry slips back into his introverted life with ease. He goes to class and studies with Zayn in the library or they watch movies in Zayn's dorm. Harry knows he’s ignoring Niall. It’s quite obvious, how he chooses not to text him back or how he offers to take the snack cart out the whole week to avoid possibly seeing Niall at the driving range.

It’s immature, Harry knows that. But it doesn’t stop him from missing Niall at all. Especially when he watches Niall through the pro-shop window, hitting at the driving range looking like a professional (and rather cute in his golf clothes) and he wants to drop everything and just be down there with him. But he can't. He just can't.

*****

Surprisingly, it’s Liam he talks to first. He comes into the pro-shop on Friday with little Aiden, who has his golf bag proudly swung on his shoulder and a wide smile that shows he’s missing a couple of his teeth.

“Think you can give this one a lesson without having an appointment?” Liam asks politely, tapping the top of Aiden's head fondly. Harry just pouts because he doesn’t know if he’s allowed to give a lesson, he only runs the kids camps and that’s different. And he doesn't really know if he wants to talk to Niall's best mate either.

His uncle comes out of the office coincidentally at the same time and Liam tries his luck with asking him, but Harry's uncle surprisingly agrees. They make their way down to the driving range and Aiden is rambling about how he just watched the Masters on the telly and wants to be just like all of them. Harry and Liam exchange smiles when he says that, but Harry can’t help but think Aiden should start going somewhere that would give him proper lessons, not him.

Aiden is hitting his bucket of golf balls on the artificial grass mat now and Harry is trying his best to give him pointers on how to swing and such, but honestly he’s only repeating what Niall has told him to do in the past. Liam is lounging on a bench in the shade watching his little brother and Harry hears a giggle behind him and - oh no, it’s Mrs. Caulfield. She's at least fifty and married but that hasn't stopped her from blatantly flirting with Harry for the past year in a way that makes him extremely uncomfortable.

He gives her a tight smile to mask his grimace and rushes over to the bench to accompany Liam. "Do you get that a lot?" Liam asks once he sits down, nodding his head towards Mrs. Caulfield.

Harry shakes his head, "Not- not really."

There's a calm silence as the two of them watch Aiden hit but Liam speaks up. "I heard you gave Niall quite the scare on Saturday."

Harry immediately cringes because not only is it slightly embarrassing he had a panic attack at a frat party, but now it seems all Niall's friends probably know about it too. 

Liam shakes his head a little, a grin on his face, "It's weird to think about now, but Niall was the shyest kid when I met him. He was this little boy with brown hair and crooked teeth who never talked in class I guess, but I was new and didn't know that. We got paired up for a project together and then, after that, it's like he can't shut up now. He still has his shy moments though, happens with certain people. I think everyone deals with their shyness differently. It's not a bad thing to be shy Harry, yeah?"

Harry swallows the knot in his throat and gives Liam a shaky nod.

"Just at least attempt to hear what Niall has to say? He's totally blaming himself for making you come to the party. They used to not really be my scene at all either but that changed for me," Liam admits. Harry quickly thinks that Louis probably has something to do with that. "I'm not saying that going to frat parties is something you have to do though, alright?" Liam nudges Harry with his arm.

Harry takes his hat off with the golf course logo and runs his hands through his hair, calling out instructions to Aiden about slowing down his swing. He turns to look at Liam and hesitates, "Al-Alright."

*****

“So anything new happen this week?” Mr. Nealson asks Harry the next day. His notepad is gone from his lap today, and Harry doesn’t know if that’s a good or bad thing. 

Harry twists one of the rings on his fingers, “Well,” he starts, fidgeting slightly in the white leather chair, “I had a panic attack last Saturday,” he offers awkwardly and watches how Mr. Nealson’s eyes widen slightly. 

“What made you feel so panicked?” He questions Harry carefully. He confesses the whole story of events of last weekend and this week to him (but not how he creepily watches Niall through the pro-shop window; Harry figures he should keep that to himself).

“So you don’t talk to Niall at all anymore?” Mr. Nealson asks and Harry feels a wave of guilt wash through him as he slowly nods his head in agreement.

“I think you should give Niall a chance to even hear what he might want to say. He probably is blaming himself, feeling that he caused you to have the panic attack, but I think you should tell him exactly what happened. That it wasn’t necessarily the party as a whole, but that boy who brought on memories of things you’ve experienced in the past.”

“But I -,” Harry starts only to swallow. “I don’t think I fit into that whole loud and brash frat community. I just don’t fit into Niall’s world even as a friend and it would never work out as something else. Not that Niall would ever even possibly have any type of feelings for me,” Harry mumbles the last part, feeling embarrassed.

“I don’t think that’s true until you ask him. And, saying that - do you think Niall is brash, then?” Mr. Nealson points out.

“No,” Harry groans, putting his head in his hands, “I didn’t mean it like that.”

*****

Harry’s at work later that day, watching the clouds in the sky through the pro-shop window when Niall comes in. He hears the bell from the door ring but doesn’t notice it's him at first, his back turned to the desk as he organizes the keys for the golf carts.

Harry turns to see Niall standing there in a bright green polo and it's just like the first time Harry saw him. "Hi," Niall mumbles and Harry's tongue is like sandpaper all over again.

"H-Hi," he gets out.

"How have you been?" Niall asks him cautiously and Harry's heart can't help but beat faster at how the smallest things Niall says makes him feel better. 

“O-Okay,” Harry settles on. “I’ve been okay.”

A corner of Niall’s mouth turns up and it's enough for Harry to smile at him, because Niall is just like that. He makes Harry smile at nothing. "Do you want to get dinner at the restaurant later?" Harry asks him, motioning his head towards the restaurant.

Niall smiles enthusiastically, "Yeah, sounds ace. I'm gonna play a round before though, is that alright?"

"That's fine, I get off at five. Here," Harry hands him a key to a golf cart. 

Niall's eyebrows furrow and he gets out his wallet, "But -"

Harry shakes his head, "No it's fine. Go." Niall gives him a grin before heading out of the pro-shop, but not before looking over his shoulder to lock eyes with Harry. When he’s gone Harry widens his eyes and grabs his phone, calling Zayn. 

He picks up on the third ring. "I think I just asked Niall on a date and I don't really know what to do," Harry rushes out in one breath. 

"You asked him on a date?" Zayn asks, obviously surprised.

"I- I think so? I don't know I asked him if we could go to the restaurant together. I meant it like so we could talk things out and I could tell him why I panicked. But now I'm panicking because what if he doesn't think it's a date? Or what if he does?" Harry speaks quickly.

"I guess you ask him if he wants it to be a date?" Zayn answers sounding unsure.

Harry groans, "Zayn I can't just ask Niall that! I don't even know if he likes boys, even more if he likes me!" And oh God, Harry thinks, he doesn't even know if Niall likes boys.

"Well maybe you should start there? See if he likes boys?"

Harry hangs up then, Cal giving him a shrug and Harry gives a shaky smile back.

*****

There hasn’t been anyone coming inside the pro-shop for awhile, and Harry’s looking out of the window, watching how the sky has turned from cloudy to grey and dark, hands shaking and his heart thumping in his chest at the idea of him and Niall on a date. “Harry!” He hears Cal yell at him, causing him to jump slightly, tearing his eyes away from the window. “Come on - we have to put the carts in the shed, it’s gonna rain any minute now!”

He grabs his jacket and races outside with a bunch of keys where him and Cal drive them one by one into the shed. It's drizzling now, dampening Harry's jacket and trousers and others are driving up from the range. Once they finish, Harry and Cal go back inside, enjoying the warmth of the pro-shop instead of the frigid London cold.

It's when Harry passes by the monitor that tracks all the golf carts he sees one left and realizes who it is. He runs to his locker grabbing a heavier jacket and back to the desk for a set of keys. "Harry what are you doing?!" Cal yells as he runs out the door to the shed for a cart.

Harry's not thinking. All he knows is Niall is out there and the rain is getting heavier, and with rain can come lightning. He's driving to hole 14 where the monitor said the cart was, the rain angled and coming in hard, completely soaking him. 

There's a golf cart Harry can make out up ahead and he starts driving closer until he's there but there's no Niall, and if Harry felt panicked before he definitely is now. "Niall! Niall where are you?" He screams out in the heavy loud downpour of rain and he's scrambling out of the cart already thinking the worst.

"Harry?" He hears Niall weakly call out and he whips his head around, trying to see through the rain. 

"Niall!" Harry yells again, the rain is cold and he's shivering already. Niall calls out again and Harry manages his way towards Niall's voice, slipping on the slick grass a couple times as he rushes over.

Niall is completely soaked from head to toe, his green polo is stuck to him like a second skin, and Harry would be a admiring the faint traces of abs and his biceps if Niall wasn't clutching his knee in pain. He's in a patch of mud, his trousers are dirty and Niall looks pale, much too pale, Harry thinks. He bends down and attempts to shield Niall from the rain, leaning closer. "What happened?"

Niall's body visibly shivers and Harry can see the goosebumps form on his neck and face as rain drips down from his hair. "It started drizzlin' so I was going to my cart and slipped and I think I twisted my knee," Niall breathes out, face contorting in pain as he bites his lip.

Harry's brain is rushing and as he hears the sound of thunder (or maybe it was lightning?) in the distance and his mind is blank - he can't remember anything about lightning safety. Only that metal is bad and the golf clubs close by the two of them is not good. And he knows he needs to get Niall inside fast before he turns blue.

"Here - can you get onto my back?" Harry asks him when he suddenly remembers about the bathroom on hole 15 that's pretty close by.

"I- I don't know, maybe," Niall whimpers. Harry frowns at how much pain Niall looks to be in and he turns and helps him into his back, hearing Niall hiss when it hurts. 

Niall is slightly lopsided on Harry's back and he knows his back is going to hurt like hell tomorrow, but it's too hard for Niall to let Harry hold on tightly to his left knee and it would be even worse trying to sit in a golf cart by now.

Harry makes it through the rain that hasn't let up closer to the bathroom, occasionally twisting his head around to see if Niall's alright, but he can't see him when he's buried his face in Harry's shoulder.

Harry swings open the bathroom door and manages to keep Niall on his back, the door shutting quickly behind them, carried by the wind. Harry carefully slips Niall off his back, laying him down on the tile floor, ignoring Niall's groan in pain and trying to hurry the thought away of what Niall would sound like groaning in pleasure. He fumbles for the light and switches it on, illuminating the one room bathroom. 

Niall is shaking from the cold with teeth chattering, completely soaked. Harry guesses he looks like a wet rat, his hair dripping as he reaches into his pocket and grabs his phone, hoping not too much water has gotten to it so he can phone the pro-shop.

Harry grabs some paper towels from the dispenser once he hangs up with Cal, crouching on the floor next to Niall, drying his face from the water as he continues to shake. Niall’s still shivering, his chattering teeth echoing in the bathroom, so Harry gets closer. “Here. Niall can you take off your shirt for me?” Harry whispers gently as Niall shakes a nod. His green polo is sticking to him tightly already, but Harry helps Niall’s cold clumsy hands pull his soaked polo up his chest and over his head. Niall is pale, really pale, and he has this cute little tummy but he's still fit, so fit, and Harry can’t help but notice how goosebumps have formed all over Niall's chest, even under the patch of hair he has. Harry blushes and looks away, catching Niall’s eyes but he doesn’t say anything, instead stripping off his heavy jacket, placing the inside lining over Niall, who snuggles into it.

There's a silence now but it breaks when Harry slides down into the tile floor next to Niall, the squeaking of his soaked shoes following the loud breath he lets out as he lays his head down. It seems like just at the same time it happens, but when Harry turns his head to look at Niall he already is but rolled over on his side.

Harry ducks his head down, embarrassed, into Niall's back. His skin is cold but it's undeniably smooth and has a bit of a flush. Harry lets his eyes wander the hairs connected to his back, counting a few freckles. They're so close on the tile floor and that's enough to make Harry's heart pound in his chest at the near proximity of Niall. They're so close; almost spooning with Harry's head hiding against Niall's back, they're thighs touching now. 

Harry feels like the room is starting to get warmer now, but he knows it's just his hands getting clammy because all he wants to do is snuggle Niall and keep him warm. Niall hasn't whimpered about his knee since Harry placed his jacket on him, but Harry can't help but hope he's less blue now. 

In one swift movement, Harry's thoughts racing how simple and casual this can be for anyone, but he's not simple but dammit this is Niall and his heart is aching and his hands are clammy and Niall is freezing still and so is he, he wraps his arm around Niall's waist.

Niall doesn't say anything. Harry should be thinking about how easily and how nice they fit together like this; his thighs slotted against Niall's, his head hidden into into Niall's back, his arm easily fitting around Niall's waist, the feeling of warmth and comfort radiating between them, but Harry can't help but over think that Niall hasn't said anything.

"Is-is this oh-okay?" Harry mumbles into his back, his lips lightly brushing Niall's skin as he talks.

There's a small shiver Harry can feel Niall's body make, so he lifts his head from the tile floor and from Niall's back. Niall makes a hum in agreement as Harry's eyes study his face. "You're so warm," Niall mumbles sounding exhausted. Harry puts his head back down into his back, pulling him closer. 

"I'm sorry. I should've done this for you. I'm really sorry for making you come to that party Harry," Niall rushes out after a calm silence.

Harry's breath hitches in guilt. "It's-it's not your fault. It ne-never was, it was your first time seeing me have a pa-panic attack," Harry says, slightly embarrassed his stutter has come back. He lifts himself up on his elbow, his body leaning over Niall.

"But-"

"Niall it wasn't your fault," Harry cuts him off. "It could never have been. You're just so..." Harry drifts off, unable to stop the smile that's taken over his whole face.

"I'm so what?" Niall mumbles, his eyes closed as Harry watches him. 

His hair is still wet, part of it is slightly laying on his forehead and it looks more brown or straw-like than blonde now. The cleft in his chin is easily distinguishable, his nose is slightly sniffling already and one of his eyebrows lifts up when Harry doesn't say anything.

"You're like light and you-you just make me-," Harry stumbles once Niall opens his eyes. It's just the bright bright blue and Harry can't even stop himself because Niall is just Niall, who makes him feel so safe and warm and he makes Harry feel alive.

Harry's arm around Niall's waist slides it's way upwards and cups Niall's cheek and he clumsily hits his nose against Niall's as he leans in, but he keeps going and firmly pecks his lips onto Niall's, ignoring the hammering in his chest and his brain that might freeze up in a second. 

 

Niall's lips don't move against his for a second, but Harry wants him to know, to know he wants Niall to kiss him and feel this hammering in his chest and if Harry thought kissing Niall was already chest hammering just like this, he feels his whole stomach drop the second Niall starts kissing him back. 

Their lips slot against each other and Harry doesn't really even know what he's doing but it feels like total bliss as their lips move against each one another, and he feels the stubble of Niall's jaw in his palm and the way Niall's lips are slightly chapped but somehow still soft and he's in complete sensory overload. 

Harry's breathing loudly through his nose and he can hear Niall too, and he wants to know what Niall's tongue might feel like but he's kissing Niall, feeling his bottom lip between his, and now his brain is taking over because oh my God, Harry thinks. His thoughts are catching up with him now and Harry pulls away already feeling so anxious and he just wants to kiss Niall forever but he still can't get over the fact he just kissed someone. Not just someone. He just kissed Niall.

Niall's eyes are wide as Harry pants and his lips are red, Harry figures his might be too, but he's scrambling off the floor feeling like his heart is exploding and whatever's going on in his stomach is worst than butterflies and if that's just what kissing was like, what about everything else?

 

Harry's scrambling leads him leaning against the sink trying to catch his breath, and Niall, Niall hasn't said anything. Harry's cringing, because he feels so so stupid and he just messed everything up and Niall just probably kissed him to be nice and he can't even glance his way, and the next thing he knows Cal is swinging open the door with a first aid kit and makes eye contact with Harry, soaked and confused. 

"I'm-i’m sorry," Harry rushes out, trying to ignore the way his voice cracks and runs outside into the cold rain, not even thinking about the chance of getting hit by lighting. Because he's not to sure anything could ever strike him or rush through his veins the way Niall's lips on his did.

 

*****

Harry is a sobbing, crying mess. He's soaked to the bone and can feel the shivers shake his whole body as he harshly turns his key in his door, physically aching. His breaths are uneven and choppy, trying to suck in as much air in between sobs, hot tears rolling down his cold face. 

His hands are shaking as he struggles to rip off his dripping jacket, throwing it off of himself when he manages to get off. Harry is still crying and nearly not getting enough oxygen as the tears continue to roll down his cheeks.

For a split second Harry thinks about calling Zayn, Zayn who always seems to calm Harry without having to use words when he's panicking, but instead he finds his heart lurching to go home and see his mum.

He knows it's childish as he dives into his bed naked and cold and still crying, but the rush of homesickness also takes a hold of Harry, as he wishes he had his mum to soothe him right now like the hundreds of times she's done it before; when Harry was sent to speech therapy, the time he confessed he was sure he liked boys and not girls, the occasions when he cried because he just wanted to be normal and talk normal but she always held him close.

The sobs slowly turn into hiccups, and Harry can feel how puffy his eyes as he's snuggled underneath his duvet, when he hears crutching from outside that's accompanied with a knock on his door and his heart jumps.

"Harry?" He hears Niall ask, his voice hoarse on the other side of the door.

His eyes well up with fresh tears that threaten to rush out as he croaks out, "P-Please ju-just leave me a-alone."

 

***

 

Niall is gone in the morning.

 

*****

Harry still gets up in time to make it to his therapy appointment on Monday that he is already dreading, even more so when Mr. Nealson welcomes him into his office from the waiting room, eyes wide in surprise, which Harry figures is at his exhausted self, his eyes still puffy and red from all the crying the whole weekend.

“Is everything okay Harry?” His therapist asks, obviously concerned.

“I-I’ve been be-better,” he manages. Mr. Nealson passes him the tissue box, which he’s thankful for when he blows his nose.

“Did something happen at school? Or work?” Harry shakes his head and closes his eyes, feeling his throat become dry as he tries his best to not let the tears fill his eyes. “Harry I want to know if something bad happened. I can’t help you unless you tell me,” Mr. Nealson says firmly, although his gentle voice is a little more comforting.

“I did something kind of stupid,” Harry confesses after a period of silence. “I-I kissed Niall and I messed things up.”

Mr. Nealson only nods his head. “Things got messed up because you kissed him and he didn’t kiss you back, or was it you?”

“Well -.”

“I’m going to guess it was you Harry,” Mr. Nealson cuts him off. “The way you’ve described Niall these last couple months is unlike others who you’ve confessed have hurt you in the past. You kissing him is one of the most impulsive and boldest things you’ve done, that’s why you’re scared.”

“I think I might love him,” Harry blurts out loudly. It feels good to get it off his chest but it doesn’t help that he doesn’t have Niall by his side now. He knows Mr. Nealson is right, that Niall isn’t like the guys he faced in sixth form or the partners he would have his first years of uni on projects that only gave him sorry looks and didn’t even try to get to know him.

“That’s okay. We’ll figure that out,” Mr. Nealson says as Harry starts to cry, giving into the sob he’s tried to keep back, not even embarrassed but feeling scared and sad about how much he already misses Niall.

“I want to go home,” Harry sniffles, wiping the end of his jumper against his nose.

*****

Harry’s mum picks him up a little while later, giving him a tight hug as a couple more tears slip out, leaving him feeling pretty pathetic. She doesn’t say anything, despite him looking like a mess in his thrown up bun and sweats; she just lets him slip into the passenger seat and sleep most of the way home. 

When he wakes up, he sees a spam of texts and calls on his phone. Most are from Zayn, mostly "Where are you?'s" to "Harry are you okay?" There's a few from Liam and even one from Louis that say similar things, but he doesn't bother to read the three texts from Niall, nor listen to his two voicemails, knowing it will hurt too much. He does however, sent a quick message to Zayn that he’s going home, before he turns his phone off.

When they make it home, Robin meets them at the door and Harry can’t help but throw his arms around him in a tight hug as they shuffle inside. His mum helps him up the stairs and he throws himself on his old childhood bed, his feet dangling off the edge as his mum strokes his back in comfort. He’s trying his best not to think about it; the look in Niall’s eyes when he pulled away, the fact he even kissed him in the first place.

"You don't have to tell me right away, but I do want to know what happened, okay?" His mum asks sincerely. She gives him a light kiss on his forehead before making her way out of his room, shutting the door softly.

*****

Being home is a slight curse and a blessing. Harry’s mum overbears him in affection and Robin happily chats with him, wanting to catch up on all things that he’s been up to at university and how his job is going with his uncle. Harry’s happy to catch up and enjoys his home cooked meals and his mum’s hugs, but there’s a cloud of tension building up that he can feel around him. He still hasn’t told his mum about what was so urgent he needed to come home yet, but he can feel her dancing around the subject, dropping not so subtle hints as he bakes with her.

Holmes Chapel is like it always is, pretty quiet and peaceful. He makes sure to stop at the local bakery to visit Barbara, the woman who mentored him and also kept him alive during the horrors of sixth form. Walks in the meadows are mainly silent as he treks in the grass with the trickle of the nearby stream and Harry can't help but mainly get caught up in his thoughts. If anything, if there's even a possibility Niall liked him back (although Harry's pretty beyond like at this point) he knows that Niall probably thought he would have to make the first move. He's hurting but doesn't feel as dejected as he did before, hoping at least Niall will take him back as a friend.

It's anxiety that's building up inside of Harry when he wakes up panting with fresh drops of sweat on his forehead, his dream replaying the entire kiss scene over and over, and his entire body feels warm and tingly all over and he can't help but feel a little ashamed that his cock is definitely more than half hard from it. Harry tugs a hand through his hair, getting caught in a tangle as he catches his breath as best as he can, reaching over to try to grab his backpack, filled with books and schoolwork he definitely hasn't been doing. 

He finds his phone, holding the on button and feeling more anxious as he counts his breaths and goes for it when his phone is fully turned on.

The dial tone is loud against his ear and then it's ringing and Harry swallows thickly, hoping his voice isn't too rough. "Harry?" He hears a Irish voice through the speaker, sounding rough and raspy but alert.

"Hi," he can't help but whisper, feeling pretty stupid.

He hears a breath of air let out on the other side of the phone, something that sounds like relief. "Hi," Niall says and Harry can tell that Niall's starting to smile as he bites the inside of his cheek.

A silence passes as Harry listens to Niall's chest expand, his breathing starting to lull his eyes slowly and his body starting to cool as he slowly falls asleep, but not before hearing the small, "I miss you," that Niall confesses before he's gone.

*****

It doesn’t all explode in flames (quite literally) until the next day during dinner. Robin is telling Harry and his mum a story from work that day when the phone rings and Anne rushes to answer it in time. “Harry!” She hollers from the kitchen, “It’s for you!”

“Mum,” Harry complains, groaning when Robin sends him a look that forces him out of his chair. “Who is it?” He questions when he makes it into the kitchen, hoping if he has any bit of karma or anything that it isn’t one of the boys, even worse Niall (he doesn’t really know what to expect with all that happened last night, his face just warms up at the thought of it).

“It’s Zayn,” she says as she hands him the phone and gives him a onceover before making her way back to the dining room.

“Hello,” Harry answers, already annoyed, evident in his voice.

“You need to come home right now,” Zayn orders harshly through the phone.

Harry winces. “Zayn-”

“No Harry you don’t understand. There was a fire and Liam got injured and he’s most likely going to be okay but Aiden is really scared and he won’t stop crying and Louis can’t either. And Niall, well Niall’s a right mess mate.”

Harry immediately tenses up at the thought of an injured Liam, a scared little brother and boyfriend, and even more about how Niall must be feeling right now. “Um I-I um," he freezes up. "Okay I’ll pack right now. I-I’m sorry Zayn, I shouldn’t have even have left, I-”

“Harry what matters is that you’re coming home now, alright?” Zayn cuts him off. “I’ll see you soon.”

With that Harry hangs up the phone and makes a mad dash to his room, passing his mum and Robin at the dining table who raise their eyebrows in question but he’s already throwing his things disorderly inside of his suitcase. “Harry what’s going on?” His mum asks, leaning against the doorframe watching him frantically pack.

“I need to go back, like right now. It’s an emergency,” Harry rushes and Harrys mum frowns at him. 

"Did something happen at school? I thought Mr. Nealson emailed your professors you would be gone this week due to a family emergency?"

Harry nods his head quickly, "He did. Well, I think he did, he was supposed to. But that's not it."

"So then what's going on?" She asks skeptically, and Harry can't blame her. He's mentioned Niall sometimes when they chat on the phone and she may be thinking it could have something to do with him but she's not one to ever push Harry to talk.

"I'll explain in the car," Harry compromises, jamming his feet into his boots as fast as he can. She raises her eyebrows in doubt but Harry can't help but roll his eyes. "Mum I promise I'll explain, it's important," he begs, and it's enough for her to nod her head and disappear down the hall.

*****

"Be safe. I know it wasn't a trip you necessarily wanted to make but it was good seeing you," Robin says as he gives Harry a quick hug. Harry gives him a kiss on the cheek in return, jumping into the passenger seat next to his mum. Anne calls out a, “I love you!” to Robin before rolling up the window and putting the car into reverse. Once they make it on the motorway, Anne raises her eyebrows at Harry, giving him a look like now is the time to start spilling.

“I needed to come home because I kissed Niall and I kind of just ran out after it happened and then I had a panic attack in my dorm. It’s-It’s stupid but I just,” Harry fumbles as he lowers his voice, “I-I think I love him mum.”

She doesn’t say anything in return, only nods his head at him to keep going. “And I was stupid last night because I called him because I missed his voice and him and I don’t even know if he’s gay mum,” Harry groans dramatically and Anne rolls her eyes at him in return. “Like he’s never really mentioned girls before but that’s so wrong to ever assume, you know? But anyway I kissed him and he probably only kissed me back to be nice but I called him anyway and then Zayn just called that Liam was in a fire - he’s a firefighter by the way and Niall’s best mate - and that Liam’s little brother was a mess, he was one of the campers at one of the golf ones, so I figured I really needed to go back didn’t I?”

Anne nods her head in agreement, “You do need to go back. I hope Liam is alright but dear, you’ll figure it out with Niall, I can promise you that,” she says sincerely as she changes lanes.

Harry only raises his eyebrows in confusion, “How can you promise that?”

She gives a small smile. “He called the house everyday. Niall that is. I don’t know how he got the home number but he asked about you.” 

Harry’s mouth drops open in surprise. “How! I-I mean why?!”

She glances at him quickly, careful not to take her eyes off the road, “He cares about you, obviously.” Harry sits back absolutely dumbstruck at this entire situation as his mum turns up the radio, letting him think to himself as the GPS announces only forty five more minutes to London.

*****

She drops him off with a quick hug and kiss and there's a promise made to call once things have been figured out, but Harry quickly throws his stuff inside his dorm and Zayn meets him, where they pile into his car and rush to the hospital. “How did you even hear about Liam anyway?” Harry can’t help but ask Zayn, confused how he’s intertwined in this whole situation. 

Zayn shrugs, “Louis’ actually not all that bad. We chatted a bit at that party and smoked a bit so we hang every once in a while for a smoke or to talk tattoos. I was with him when he got the call,” Zayn explains. “I had to drive him here because he was such a mess, we all were expecting the worst. I mean what can you expect when someone just says someone you care about has been in a serious accident?”

Harry nods his head, hoping for the best.

That turns out to be a good thing, Liam is asleep when they make it to his room, but Louis informs them he’s only broken his arm and had a mild concussion and some mild burns on his broken arm. Liam still looks pretty rough though, wrapped all over in gauze and needles poking out from his arm into all types of machines.

“Niall took Aiden to the cafeteria for some dinner,” Louis explains, sounding exhausted as he lays in one of those shitty uncomfortable couches in hospitals, Zayn holding his feet in his lap. Louis' got bags underneath his eyes that the lights in the room bring out and his clothes are all rumpled.

Harry can't help but think it's pretty late to eat dinner but then the second Aiden runs in right after, only to cling to Liam's bedside he understands it must have taken lots of convincing just for him to leave.

"He was awake earlier," he hears a shaky voice behind him, turning fast on his heel to meet the tired blue eyes he's been longing to see. Standing in the doorway, Niall's dressed in some grey joggers and a big jacket that Harry recognizes as the one he gave Niall in the golf course bathroom. He looks as pale as Harry remembers him, his blonde hair soft and messy. 

Harry gives him a shaky nod before turning his eyes back to Liam sleeping on the bed, "I'm just glad he's alright."

"I am too," Niall answers honestly and Harry can't help but feel although they're talking about Liam, they both know that it's not just about him.

*****

"I'm gonna go get some coffee," Harry murmurs quietly, careful not to disturb anyone as he gets up out of his chair in the dark. They put on Toy Story after Liam woke from a nightmare, which the doctor explained should be normal for the short time after such an event, only for him to fall asleep not even fifteen minutes in.

It's pretty cute though how Aiden's curled up against his brother’s boyfriend, sound asleep against the scene playing in the background, while Zayn looks like he's about to nod off in a minute or two. "I'll come with, give me a mo," Niall murmurs, and Harry heads outside to wait for him, pacing back and forth already feeling fidgety and a little dizzy.

They take the elevator down to the cafeteria and Harry fills a mug with coffee while Niall gets some tea. Harry knows he shouldn't be this excited in this situation to finally be close in Niall's presence again, but as their arms brush when they make their way into a plastic cushioned booth opposite of one another, Harry's heart skips a beat.

“How was your trip home?” Niall asks as he takes the teabag out of his mug, placing it on a napkin he grabbed from the dispenser. 

Harry shrugs, trying to find the words, looking away from Niall's lips that are reddish and raw, he figures from biting and licking his lips from nerves, and it's causing Harry to flashback to the feelings of Niall's lips on his. “It-It was alright. Good to see my mum and Robin, it was quiet, peaceful," he coughs out, knowing he sounds distant.

Niall nods his head, understanding. “Sounds ace.” Harry jerks his head into a nod, letting silence fall over them besides the occasional sip at their drinks.

“I-I’m glad Liam’s alright. And I-I’m sorry. Y-You know a-about,” Harry stutters, feeling his face heat up in embarrassment and attempting to swallow back his feelings with a long drink of his coffee.

But Niall’s loud laugh forces Harry to look up from his coffee mug, his eyes suddenly wide and awake, and it's just like at the party, Niall’s laugh making Harry feel good all over, even if he is technically laughing at him. “You know I never assumed it would be you who would make the first move,” Niall says cheekily, his tongue pressed against the inside of his cheek as he raises his eyebrows with a smug look on his face, while Harry assumes that he looks like an idiot fish, just opening and closing his eyes in complete surprise.

“You-you mean,” Harry tries to grasp, “you-you mean that it wasn’t ju-just me who wanted our talk to be a da-date?” He asks in complete shock.

Niall looks up from his attempts of cooling his tea down with his breath with a wide grin, his eyes looking even brighter and bluer from the overhead light. “Not just you.”

“And-And you didn’t just kiss-kiss me back to be nice?”

Niall rolls his eyes, giant smile still on his face, "Definitely not to be nice. I've actually wanted to snog you since forever but let's face it, I couldn't really just do that could I?"

"Well I-," Harry tries to process all that's going on, only to frown. "Do-do you not like that I-I'm shy?" He asks flustered, only for Niall to reach across the table and cover his hand around Harry’s that’s clutching his coffee mug tightly.

Harry watches as a flush of red from Niall’s neck overtakes his cheeks and he can’t help but feel his own face begin to heat up at Niall’s blush. “No, I don’t mind it. I kinda actually love it,” he says softly, only for Harry’s head to spin a little faster at Niall’s words and the way his thumb is rubbing circles against Harry’s hand.

“So-so, I- what?” Harry fumbles, feeling hot all over and his head is spinning a bit from all Niall's telling him, struggling to even comprehend all that's happened in the last five minutes. Harry can’t, however, help the fond look he makes when he watches Niall, one hand holding Harry’s, his other arm bent at the elbow, palm supporting his head.

“I like you, well - possibly even more than that,” Niall murmurs, looking more tired by the second. “And I want to be with you.”

The caffeine of Harry’s finished coffee is finally starting to kick in and he can feel it adding onto his nerves of how shaky his whole body feels as he manages to nod his head and stutter out, “I-I do too,” despite it being something he’s absolutely sure about.

Niall looks a lot more awake now as he slips his hand away from Harry to take a big drink of his tea, sliding out of the booth and offers Harry a hand to help him out. Harry struggles to balance a bit when he stands up, but Niall slides his smaller hand around Harry's waist and they easily fit into each other just like on that bathroom floor as they walk to the elevator. Niall places a simple kiss to Harry’s temple that leaves goosebumps before reaching over to press the button to take them to the third floor.

**Author's Note:**

> talk to me on tumblr // horanxheart (I can't figure out how to link *heavy sigh in frustration*)


End file.
